Friends

I've just realized that I am losing my friends. It's happened gradually in the past 4 years. May, 2004, my husband and I were in a serious motorcycle accident.
Is there any other kind?

We had multiple injuries, but we can walk and talk so we are very lucky. Blessed. Still not quite right. My most serious injury was a fractured ankle. I was in a wheelchair for 3 months because I also had a broken shoulder which prevented me from using crutches. So my dear daughter, who had to postpone her wedding for 3 months, had to push and pull me everywhere all summer of 2004. She was wonderful: loving and patient with not a shred of resentment. She was so grateful to God that we were alive.

Anyway, after 2 more surgeries, countless hours of PT and a mountain of pain pills, I am still not quite right. I can walk, but not without pain. Lots of pain. I look in the mirror and I see the pain etched in my face. It does not make me feel better to know that I could be so much worse. My personal pain is eating away at my soul.

And that's why I feel so disconnected from my friends. When we came home from the hospital (I was in for 7 days, P was in for 10 days), our friends and family came in droves. We did not have to prepare a meal for 6 weeks. We were on prayer lists all over the world. And we knew we were being lifted up! But now that I have had such a rough time, I don't see my friends much. I had a business with lots of ladies that became friends, but I no longer am able to continue to work it. I just don't feel like socializing, entertaining or even chatting on the phone like I used to. I love that people are concerned, but I hate that conversations revolve around how I'm feeling and what the doctors are planning next. So I have retreated into a shell. And that's not where I want to be.


I have had my next door neighbor's son's birthday present sitting in the dining room since June, because it's too much effort to take it over.

So, I am going to intentionally make plans and reconnect with all of my dear friends. I need friends in my life and I want to be somebody that they need in their lives.

Yesterday, after my doctor visit, I had lunch with a good friend and then we went and got pedicures. I think that's a pretty good start.